It’s Been A While…

Well, it’s been a while.

…Yes, I’m still alive. Mostly.

So here’s what’s up:

My NaNoWriMo isn’t going so hot, for various reasons. I’ve been too stressed to do anything this month, unfortunately.

And then stressful things happened with switching stuff around in our house, which just caused way more stress than it was worth, and now I’m sick.

I also had a random panic attack at work yesterday. Not fun. At all. I’ve been pretty good at controlling the anxiety and panic when the symptoms first come on, but for some reason I didn’t catch the signs early enough. I was working the drive-through window (I work at Chickfila, for those of you who don’t know), and even though I had a jacket on, I was incredibly cold. At one point I could barely feel my fingers. (Not good. XD Unfortunately, I can’t wear gloves, because I do handle food, and I also use a touch screen at the register. So no gloves.)

So anyway, about an hour before my shift was up, I started hyperventilating a bit and felt panicky. I did some deep breathing and ignored it, thinking it would go away, as it usually does when I breathe properly. Then my hands and cheeks started tingling and going numb, and my throat felt like it was closing up. I did my inhaler and went back to work, stocking stuff and occasionally helping a customer. (There were only two for about fifteen minutes. So thankful!) Then my boss came out at some point, and I’m pretty sure I was full-out hyperventilating because she asked me what was wrong. I couldn’t even speak to tell her I was having a panic attack.

Her: Are you okay…?

Me: I’m having a panic attack. (Actually, it came out more like: “Uh–panic–‘tack…”)

Her: Didn’t you bring your stuff with you??

Me: Yeah, but it doesn’t help.

Her: What caused it?

Me: Random!

Her: O.o

After I realized that it was, indeed, random, and couldn’t identify any of my regular triggers, everything sort of slid downhill. I managed to input the wrong bill denomination into the register and almost gave a customer the wrong change. (She was so nice about it, though! Very thankful.) And I honestly don’t remember anything between that and my manager telling me to go chill in a corner for a bit, even though only a few minutes must have passed. Then she just told me to go home, since I only had about twenty minutes left anyway.

And, on top of the panic attack, I felt steadily worse throughout the evening from being in the cold for three and a half hours straight, and by the time I left my throat was so hoarse I could hardly talk. I must have been hungry as well, because when my mom came to get me with a plate from the barbecue she went to with my sister, I devoured the plate in less than ten minutes.

Nng. Then, this morning, I stayed home from church because I felt too sick to get out of bed. I felt guilty because I was supposed to teach the pre-schoolers. Then I proceeded to do nothing productive all day until I wrote this blog post.

So, probably the only good thing that happened between Friday and today would be my friends Addy* and Emiga* came over to help me with my room. Emiga worked her usual magic (within ten minutes of her arrival we were almost done cleaning!). Addy slept over and we had enlightening conversations, watched Nickelback music videos, and drew fan art. (Um, don’t ask. We were inspired.)

*Not their real names. I’ve known Emiga in real life for a couple years now, she’s my best friend. ^.^ I actually met Addy through OYAN, and we realized a while ago that we lived pretty close to each other, and we met up. Then we figured out our moms kinda-sorta-knew each other. O.o Anyway, they’re both awesome people and I wish Addy lived closer so we could all be awesome together.

So that’s what my life has been for the last… However long it’s been since I’ve posted. (I feel really bad, guys! But school! And life! And not-writing!) I’ll likely post something in December, when things aren’t as crazy. And without any further ado, I leave you with a cool song and an equally cool music video. Enjoy!

(Eh, I don’t think I can get it to embed. Meh. Sorry!)


About merciatremblac

I'm a junior in college, creative writing major, currently living in the mountains of North Carolina with my best friend for a roommate.
This entry was posted in Life. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to It’s Been A While…

  1. godsgirl95 says:

    Oh no! *huggles* So sorry that happened, Mer! Hope you’re feeling muchly better now ❤ God bless and keep you!

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